Murder’s a game my college does every year where everyone’s given a plastic knife with someone’s name on it. The knives are shoved under your door at midnight and for the next week you have to try and ‘kill’ the person on your knife. If you kill them, you get their knife and have to kill that person, and so on, until there is one lone survivor. You can’t kill someone in the dining hall or in their room, or if they’re naked. I’m pretty sure the prize is a bottle of vodka.
It gets super intense; some floors unscrew most of their lights to make it harder to find the right person, or keep the fire emergency doors closed with black garbage bags taped up so you can’t even see into the floor. Some people walk around in nothing but a towel so that if someone comes at them they can just drop it and be immune. People walk in groups. Everyone’s suspicious of everyone. Friends are no longer trusted. No one and nowhere is safe.
Conclusion: human evolution has always depended in part upon some unassuming father’s ability to literally backflip his child out of the jaws of death.
you’re at a party at thor’s apartment and you go to get more drinks from the basement fridge and his weird brother is down there alone not drinking and just sitting on one of those couches that flatten out into futons and u don’t want to talk to him but now you’ve made eye contact and u feel bad for him bc clearly he’s doesn’t know how to function at parties so you awkwardly linger on the steps for five minutes and chat and go upstairs feeling you did something nice
then the next weekend at another party you go down to the basement and it’s been magically shifted into a full-service spa with uncomfortably erotic overtones and there are aliens there and a small brass band and thor’s weird brother is wearing a crown and telling a lively story about almost getting killed on a space ship once and everyone loves him
“what the fuck” you ask thor.
“yeah my brother’s only pathetic when he feels like it” he says
i wnt hideo kojima to treat me nicely. this isn’t like a “ugh raw me” weirdo celebrity thirst post, i just want to go on a dinner date with him and struggle to speak japanese with him
I think if you swallowed the food funny and coughed, he would pat your back.
how d-
how dare you imply i am not good at swallowing food
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